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Softly he said, "I will mangle your mind."
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| | Subject: | aah! | | Time: | 04:24 pm |
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| I talked to a parisian man in french today!
It was so hot! | comments: Leave a comment   |
| I had a really terrifying dream last night. I went to disneyland with Jaqi and as were trotting along enjoying the many sights and sounds, we see Sejse walking with his gf. So, we pretend not to see him. We keep walking and then a big man pulls us into a cafeteria and says, "It's lunch time." We are thrown onto a table inside this ancient gothic looking food court. We go our separate ways because we want to eat different things. We'll meet up at the same table we were splattered on to. I see Sesje again, I try to find a place to hide and I find a door leading to a restaurant that says(I think, I can't remember that clearly) "lady finger fries." There are three male chefs talking to two women about how they only serve one dish and they wont consume any calories. The women are tall, blond, and giddy(aka stupid). So, he sits one of the women down places her hands on a plate and starts spreading ketchup all over her fingers. He sprinkles some pepper on top and proceeds to stick a fork in her finger and starts knifing it. The woman screams and pushes him away. Her and her friends squeal away undented. I want to try. He sits me down, places my hands on the plates, and starts marinating me. Instead of using a knife and fork, he grabbed my left middle finger, twists, and rips it off. It reminded me of yanking the leg off a cooked chicken. Anyhoo, he starts eating my finger. I walk out. I start feeling stupid so I run off to find Jaqi as I'm leaving a huge trail of blood behind me. I find her and start crying about how confused I am about why I voluntarily let him rip off my middle finger and eat it.
Then there was another tidal wave thing that kind of tied in with the dream I had the night before last. Crazy stuff.
The stupidity and regret I felt in my dream goes beyond what I've ever felt in real life. It felt so real. I woke up and made sure I had a middle finger. I've never been so appreciative of it. I will put it to good use today and try to offend as many people as possible.
I learned a very important lesson last night. So, in the wise words of Rachel Gilbert:
 | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I spent the day with Rachel running errands and SASing. I am filled with tater tots and asparagus at the moment. I think aspargus has become my favorite. Definitely.
As we were in the left lane waiting for the light to turn, Scott was across the street in the left lane waiting for the light to turn also. I think he saw me but I'm not sure. It was weird. Reallllly weird. About 2 minutes before such incident, Rachel was just talking about how much she has always hated him. Speak of the devil.
Funny. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | yep | | Time: | 03:40 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/sick.gif) hacking up all three lungs. |
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| I have a lung infection and it's driving me mad.
I am so sick of coughing. I'm sounding very nasal.
I felt like I was grossing out everyone I was helping at work today. It was pretty funny.
My Tia Marcela called me and wants me to make little pillows to go inside these decorative boxes for my grandma's 80th birthday extravaganza. I suspect it will be "off da hook" as they say. Anyhoo, I got some cute fabric for it.
Daniela is supposed to come over today to use my serger and take part in the netfix experience. My Tia is also supposed to come over so I can show her the fabric swatches. I'll be sewing and studying tonight. My first francais test is tomorrow! MERDE! Actually I'll do okay.
I went to a super hero party with amphibi-friend and cerebral schlemiel. We were the only heroes there.... pretty much.
I hung out with Rachel too. She's awesome.
( my picks of the pics ) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| People make me want to puke.
Rant #1:
I went on etsy and saw a button from some vegan girl that had a quote by Thomas Edison. It said: "Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming other living beings, we are still savages." Hmm, where the hell does Thomas Edison get off talking about ethics? When he killed all the stolen house pets? Or was it when he denied the world their right of having free electricity? The only "ethical" thing I ever learned from that man is what not to do.
Rant #2:
While I was on etsy, I searched for Harold Lloyd and this ACEO cigarette card thing came up. In the description the seller said she didn't know who Harold Lloyd was but she was pretty sure he was a detective of some sort. Great observation. Just because he's got glasses, he must be a detective. This is depressing.
Eh, whatever.
Lunar eclipse Feb. 20th! That's next wednesday! It's the last one 'til 2010. Heli told me. He is so awesome. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Yeesh | | Time: | 08:15 am |
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| It's times like these that make me remember why I took birth control(aside from the obvious).
Lately I feel unfunny and like I'm annoying everyone I'm around.
Parsley is amazing.
I've realized I don't have too many friends. Meh. I guess I'd rather have very few good ones than the fakes.
Who needs 'em? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I hope I don't have anyone I know or used to know in my classes. I don't want to talk to my classmates. I don't want to play the name game. Just teach me and test me so that we can all move on with our lives.
I'm probaby going to sew for the next 4 hours. I want to make a dress and some skirts. Oh, and I need a book bag too.
I bought three coats today. They were $20 each! I was amazed. They just need to be lined and I just happen to have some penguin lining that needs to be put to good use. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| What is my body doing to me? It must be getting back at me for feeding the wrong foods and other stuff.
Ugh! I would do anything to surf the crimson wave right now. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Well, Mo**is has a girlfriend. I went to the comic shop and he was talking to a customer about how he went to a Laker game with his girlfriend and blah blah blah. I went def immediately after I heard "girlfriend." Oh well.
Of course he has a girlfriend. It is nearly impossible finding someone in my pathetic generation who is worth while. Everyone is so creepy and lame. There is no room for intelligence or creativity in this age group. All the space has been taken up with cars, clubs, south bay pride, cigarettes, getting "crunk", tight pants, i-phones, crystal meth, and catch-phrases. So, when I actually see someone around my age who isn't completely awful, they have to have someone else. Whatever. He didn't change my opinion of this terrible generation. In fact, him having a girlfriend actually confirmed it. I'm sick of all the uncreative, brain-dead, beer-guzzling perverts. I am also sick of having crushes on those few people who aren't horrifying and don't like me. I guess this is what I have to look forward to, eh?
I've decided to forget romance at least for now... AT LEAST. I'm going to focus on things that aren't so deceiving and temporary. I'll be sewing, drawing, and catching up on my reading.
Jeez. I just wanted someone creative and smart who would go to the observatory with me and enjoy it as much as I do.
But whatever. I am on permanent hiatus as of now. I'm turning my phone off. I don't want to talk today.
P.S. I got pissed off at Junior yesterday. We were walking and I was getting sick of hearing his philosophy which, in my humble opinion, sounded naive, overly optimistic, and completely unrealistic. He called me "close-minded." I don't think I've ever been so upset at him. I hardly ever get mad at people but I was extremely tempted to rip his brain out and shove it up his belly button. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | yeeep | | Time: | 03:50 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/acedia/littlegent/uncomfortable.gif) i got the love pains |
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| I completely forgot I didn't have to work today. Yay. I work tomorrow instead.
I don't work next saturday either.... but I do work sunday... again.
My schedule is all over the place these weeks.
Someone in NY bought the classical composer bag I made! Yay!
My left leg feels like it's been asleep all day. It's not the tingly feeling, it's the stretchy sore/painful feeling in the thigh/knee area. Igh. I'm going for a walk after this, perhaps it will get better.
I went over to Geoffrey's comics again yesterday to spend their special dollars. He was there. I find it funny that he has absolutely no clue that I would ever be interested. I always act so indifferent and unapproachable. Junior says I shouldn't but I thought about it and realized that even if I tried not to, I would still appear that way to someone who only thinks of me as a customer. How do you act approachable anyway without having a giant sign stapled to your forehead that reads, "I am approachable." They tell me to start up a conversation with him. He has conversations with customers all the time. What could possibly make him think that I'm not only talking to him to be polite or dissolve the awkward silence between a customer and employee as he's ringing her up? Nothing. For whatever reason though, I get the feeling this will all work out in my favor. I don't know why. It's almost like I feel it's a sure thing but I have to make an obvious(to him) step. What am I capable of? I have surprised myself in the past many times. Things I'd think my low self-esteem would keep me from doing are accomplished when I am in a slow-motion moment of intense fear of regret. Heh, this is funny and I know it will be okay.
I think I've gotten to the point where regret frightens me more than rejection ever could. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I walked to Geoffrey's comics today. He was there. My god, I thought I was going to faint. You are so smart and good looking. There must be something wrong with you. Too smart for your own good perhaps? Ahhhhh... who cares. My fingers are swollen. I still feel nervous. Your witty remarks and seals of approval turn my spine to custard. I confirmed your name today when you answered the phone. Good lord, that's the sexiest name I've ever heard. If you ever ask me out(you wont), you can take my passing out as a "yes."
I'm hanging out with Junior today. Maybe we'll go back today so we can buy Metalocolypse for Alex's birthday. Ugh, M*****..... I wish there weren't such things as leagues. You've probably got a girlfriend or boyfriend anyway. How is it possible that you don't?
I reallllllly hope I run into you at school one day while you're carrying your art portfolio and stuff so I can strike up a conversation with you.
Mmmmmm. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Hate yourself?
Buy my masks and be something else.
GOOZILLA.ETSY.COM
Being bored in my house is a dangerous thing... especially when there are crispy chocolate covered crepes left over from christmas waiting for me in the "food closet."
Well, I talked to Rachel and she doesn't seem too thrilled about moving to France with me later on. She says she wants to but I think I know her too well. I know her tones. I may be on my own, which should be interesting. I talked to my mom today about visiting so that I don't just move somewhere without never having been there. She says she'll help me... we shall see. I would miss everyone but look:
- I love my mom but not my dad. She'll never leave him. Therefore, I can't live with her because I would have to live with him and that is not happening.
- Rachel is into going to school here and I'm sure she'll have major doubts about leaving her boyfriend.
- Jaqi is taken care of with Oscar and I think they're moving to another state anyway.
I know no one else well enough to have tem abandon their hopes and dreams and fall off the face of the earth with me.
I've done research about how to live over there and it seems complicated and will be a pain in the behind. However, it sounds completely doable(doo-uble).
Everyone thinks I'm being unrealistic and it'll never happens. If it doesn't, I'll buy you a drink in an american bar when I'm 46 and hopelessly depressed.
Daniela is leaving for Ecuador tonight. Work is not going to be as fun. I have to be alone with Heli or Kelsey(mostly Heli) a lot more. This will last for a month. Hopefully I wont be so tense around them. I think the word "boss" just scares me, even though Heli is awesome. He's up there with the Lloyds.
Ryne is supposed to come by the shop tomorrow to visit Nanette and I. I haven't seen him in ages. I'm excited. He invited me to go see the Aquabats with him and his friends on Saturday night but I have to work 'til 6 and I'll probably come up with something else to do that isn't such a hassle. Besides, it wouldn't feel right without Jaqi there.
This never-ending stream of consciousness babble bullshit has been going on all day. I'm too tired to do anything but I can't sit still. I feel like having a panic attack but, actually, there is absolutely nothing wrong in my life at this moment. Nothing new anyway and all the other things are uncontrollable through me. Is that why I have this eerie feeling of the jitters? I have decided to do my best not to repress anything and let myself feel everything so I can get past things. I feel like there are still trails of pain, suspicion, and uncertainty from the past year that are still lingering through my brain. I get random flashes of things that I had completely forgotten. Things that made me feel bad at the time. Not just Scott things. Well, a lot of those, but a lot of other things too. Comments people made. Movements. Very random things that made me dislike myself a little bit more. I'm shivering like I'm cold but I'm not. All the tea I had today was caffeine free. Caffeine doesn't work anyway.
Jeesh, what has happened to me? I look at a nike ad and I want to puke. I watched TV for an hour today and felt my brain cells pop when I got off the couch. I can't stand to watch that fast-career college commercial where that guy with a cap on is yelling at you and telling you to get off the couch. I hope they go bankrupt. All they do is try and give you a quick fix by giving you a course called "How 20 minutes of college will get you a career as a rocket scientist." Holy crap, those poooor rockets. I feel like everyone is trying to go too fast. No one stops to smell the roses anymore because there are none left to smell. A stampede of poor shmoes crushed them while they rushed to work this morning. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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Softly he said, "I will mangle your mind."
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